Now again I find myself in a crossroad.
I could choose to love Godess; the Life spark in All; celibacy;
dedicate myself to the pray and Creation, Creating.
Once again I stand on the top of the mountain, watch the Sangha gather for breakfast, satsang and meditaion.
I thought then, I could leave everything behind, right now. I don't need anything exept to feel, to stay in contact, to manifest in my daily life, this love, this intense connection with the Whole, with evey human being, every creature, every plant, each and every stone.
I can and want renounce everything, shave my hair off, change my name, chnage my religion, change my life,
cold showers for breakfast. Purely vegan. Prays and study.
Funny.
The air was dusty and yellow, Kathmandu is heavily poluted. The fields were beautiful, green, greener, bright. The sounds of the hurring feet, the whooosh -whoosh of the deep bourduax red robes of the monks.
The smiling, kind faces of the lower monks, helping to preprare and serve food, us, the foreigners, stnading in line for the first and second serving of veggies and rice.
Enlightement? Yes, I suppose, it was a shot of enlightement.
but being enlightend is a road, not a place;
It is the steps of honesty and love you set each day.
I stood there on the mountain; thanfull, greatfull, tears, open,
The came the No; this is not for me. My place is in the world; among those who serve food and clean the toilets, make breakfast, pray by daily movements, daily actions, daily love and kindness.
Much more difficult.
Prais and Halelu
(not the lord, not Ya)